I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
