I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
