I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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