Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
