How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize