Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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