Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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