So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.