She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She is in my trunk
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
