I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.