normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
