i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO