I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
