I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
