I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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