I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
