drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There's always time for handjobs
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
