Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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