Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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