Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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