I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
