Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
