I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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