Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
