u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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