Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
