Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize