I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
