I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
