Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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