I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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