I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
