I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
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my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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