I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
