Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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