I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
