"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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