I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
