FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
