They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
