You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
