my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
