Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
