Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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