I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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