i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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