we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
