Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
