First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
