'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My balls are so social today.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
