Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
