OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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