i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
there's paper in my vomit.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
