I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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