So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
