You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
