Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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