I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
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Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...