Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.