im six kinds of drunk right now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
3 2 1 whiskey
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101