Texts From Last Night

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  (956): View more from Texas

  around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...

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  (956): around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people... http://tfl.nu/4vgn
  Replies (6) Good night (3146) Bad night (1121)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world

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  (314): We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world http://tfl.nu/8d4g
  Replies (24) Good night (902) Bad night (5272)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.

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  (330): She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay. http://tfl.nu/hfdj
  Replies (19) Good night (10743) Bad night (1350)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway

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  (207): Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway http://tfl.nu/yca2
  Replies (2) Good night (2112) Bad night (841)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Your friend and I already don't get along

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  (404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend. (734): Your friend and I already don't get along http://tfl.nu/d3pe
  Replies (4) Good night (3528) Bad night (802)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where's the fun in that?

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  (715): somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion. (920): where's the fun in that? http://tfl.nu/xkei
  Replies (1) Good night (1212) Bad night (667)
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  (714): View more from California

  Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.

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  (714): Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee. http://tfl.nu/zv29
  Replies (16) Good night (2848) Bad night (1131)
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  (415): View more from California

  The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!

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  (415): The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco! http://tfl.nu/lulq
  Replies (5) Good night (1496) Bad night (566)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.

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  (303): He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled. http://tfl.nu/tlei
  Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (649)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  May the force be with you.

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  (847): bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died. (309): May the force be with you. http://tfl.nu/776r
  Replies (4) Good night (1116) Bad night (365)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children

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  (937): somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children http://tfl.nu/47si
  Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (669)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila

  (716): View more from New York

  Step 4: your drunk

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  (716): Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila (716): Step 4: your drunk http://tfl.nu/kixe
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (315)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.

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  (956): There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried. http://tfl.nu/mygr
  Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (325)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form

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  (630): I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form http://tfl.nu/1nja
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (320)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.

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  (513): I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual. http://tfl.nu/6x4d
  Replies (3) Good night (802) Bad night (300)

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