it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention