I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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