everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
