Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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