Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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