i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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