You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
