Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
