What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
