Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
